Dear Loveawake: I am going through a breakup and need an outsider’s eye because I’m kinda lost right now.
My ex and myself have been together for 2 ½ years and have basically been living together for that long.
The relationship started off amazing…we got along extremely well…but these past few months I have grown distant from him, physically and emotionally. I expressed to him that there were issues I had with the relationship (he is a big gamer and has said many times he is happiest when we’re sitting in the apt alone and he’s playing his game and I’m doing my own thing –and I enjoy the outside world, so that’s a problem lol)
I told him the game playing was an issue because I felt less important…so by him acting this way (among a couple other things) it kinda pushed me away, and turned me off.
Then one Saturday morning completely out of the blue, he breaks up with me and leaves (I mean completely out of the blue…he never voiced to me that anything was wrong…just a week before the break he was trying to buy me a laptop so we could play this game side by side online).
I later found out this new girl had started at his work that week and was flirting with him. I’m figuring he was getting attention that he wasn’t at home and jumped on the opportunity.It just boggles my mind though why someone would give up on 2 ½ years without even trying to fix it?
He then pulled the ol ‘I was only playing games because I was unhappy with us’…which is a complete lie, because he’s played games since we began dating, and why would he try time and time again to get me to play the games with him? He’s moved most of his stuff out (there is still quite a bit there), and has moved down the street…any insight as to why a person would move down the street??
I’m just so floored with this whole situation and feel completely lost. Any insight you can provide is appreciated! ~Can’t Believe It’s Over~
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Dear CBIO: The Loveawake is sad to tell you that you’ve been dumped and there really isn’t any more to it than that. You’re working really hard to read nuance of intention into his actions: He’s moving down the street, he’s got someone new flirting with him, he says he was gaming because of the relationship when clearly that’s not true…these are all points of analysis that you’re hoping will refute the logic of the breakup and make it obvious that you haven’t been dumped.
Let go CBIO. Take a deep breath, take yourself out for a nice meal or a drink, find a friend (not a shared friend…one of yours) to commiserate with, and get about the business of getting over him. Two and a half years of (from his perspective) a relationship that doesn’t work isn’t something to continue investing in.